Your net worth is the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. This week I had yet another person come to me for advice about how to handle family members or friends that don't support their efforts to better themselves financially. Everywhere we turn, it seems, the people we love the most have expectations for our time and money. They feel that they, or your relationship with them, should be prioritized over your need to save money, get out of debt or plan for retirement. This is why many of the best financial intentions are derailed by spending more money at Christmas than we want to, using our money for vacations instead of paying down debt or agreeing to become a maid of honor instead of saving for our emergency fund.
We are often guilted, shamed or told we are being selfish when we attempt to put our needs or goals in front of other people's. They don't understand why we are obsessing over a few hundred dollars or working our tails off all the time. They judge you for declining a lunch invitation and think you're crazy for buying a used car. They accuse you of not wanting to spend time with them or sometimes even go as far as taking the, "You think you're better than me?" attitude. And then starts the passive aggressive sabotaging of your will. The subtle, undermining comments. The scathing emotional undercurrents and the not-so-subtle facial expressions of contempt.
Many people don't understand the journey you've chosen and many never will. Decide right now that you are going to accept that. Once you've accepted that, then you're going to take the responsibility to make sure that it doesn't keep holding you back. That it doesn't keep hurting your feelings. That it doesn't keep getting in between you and your better self.
Every time you prioritize someone else's needs or expectations over your own, you're telling your brain and your heart that you don't matter as much as they do. Stop that! Stop letting your love for others sabotage your love for yourself. Stop shying away from something you know is important because the people you surround yourself with are painting it with bad feelings. Instead, start being very careful about who you share your goals with. When you're with someone who doesn't support your dreams, talk to them about the weather, work or the kids instead. Reserve your deepest self for others who "get it." The thing is, there ARE lots of other people on the same journey as you, even though you feel completely alone.
Many people who don't even know you care deeply about you becoming your most successful self. I care deeply about you becoming your most successful self. The journey you've chosen is hard but you don't have to do it alone. Find support. Find your people. Your future self will thank you.